


cool kidz

by wishyouweresober



Series: cool kidz [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Crack-ish, Established Relationship, F/F, Group chat, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Texting, groupchat, jamilton is underrated, john and alex flirt a l o t, mostly sex jokes, slight tw for messed up eating habits, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:14:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23923675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wishyouweresober/pseuds/wishyouweresober
Summary: bitch: ew tf who invited this guyfrenchaboo: i love my boyfriend he’s just so sweet and loving to mebitch: lyt boo xpegme: i live for chaos now leave me alonebitch: anyways i wrecked ur ass in that debatefrenchaboo: k but i wreck ur ass each night—basically i never see established relationship jamilton text fics so here u go
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson, Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/Hercules Mulligan, John Laurens/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/Hercules Mulligan, Maria Reynolds/Margaret "Peggy" Schuyler
Series: cool kidz [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1741837
Comments: 2
Kudos: 89





	cool kidz

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is a lot diff from my usual writijg but whoop  
> ,,, mainly sex jokes ngl  
> poly mullafens :))  
> disappointed gwash  
> TW FOR SLIGHT MENTION OF WEIRD EATING BUT ITS QUICK BUT BE SAFE KK
> 
> bitch: ham  
> gayarthoe: john  
> mangiaremoncul: laf  
> pure: liza  
> angelic: angelica  
> pegme: pegz  
> girlinred: maria  
> horseporn: hercules  
> frenchaboo: thomas

**_cool kidz_ **

_ 8:12 _

bitch: ok so i have news

gayarthoe: so not that i disagree with ur name lex but,,, ??

bitch: thomas took my phone and said “bi-itch, get it? bc ur bi and a fucking ass”

angelic: is that thomas i just heard

pure: ang,,, b r e a th e i can hear u screaming from here

pegme: same stfu im w maria

mangiaremoncul: oop- 

_ mangiaremoncul has sent 1 image (eyes.jpg) _

bitch: laf why is ur user both italian and french

mangiaremoncul: im cultured u whore

horseporn: ok but alex did u have news before

bitch: oh!! yes. ok so basically guess who just destroyed t.jeffs and j.madz in a debate against their dumb asses??? ill give u a hint he has two thumbs and crippling sleep deprivation

gayarthoe: quIrkY. also yea i saW that amazing lex this is why you’re my best friend

horseporn: ok but?? ur dating jeffz 

angelic: test me i fucking dare you

pure: alexander you think you win each debate even when washingdad says you didnt

bitch: ya bc despite that ik im right

_ gayarthoe has sent 1 image (thisbitch.jpg)  _

gayarthoe: ly xx 

_ pegme has added frenchaboo to  _ **_cool kidz_ **

frenchaboo: huh

angelic: P E G W H Y

gayarthoe: excuse me while i throw up

bitch: ew tf who invited this guy

frenchaboo: i love my boyfriend he’s just so sweet and loving to me

bitch: lyt boo x

pegme: i live for chaos now leave me alone 

bitch: anyways i wrecked ur ass in that debate 

frenchaboo: k but i wreck ur ass each night

gayarthoe: AHHAHAAHHAHAH

mangiaremoncul: he’s not lying i hear it every night for the love of god gag him

gayarthoe: uve always been loud lex ;))))

bitch: only for u jacky ;)))))

bitch: also fuck u tom come say it to my face whore

mangiaremoncul: OMG WASH WAS READING OVER MY SHOULDER AND HE SAW THE LEX N TOM JOKE AND SAID “im ready to make sex illegal if i have to hear my foster son one more time i am-“ AND THEN WEN TBACK TO chopPING CARROTS WITH A DEEP SIGH

gayarthoe: i mean arent we all wash tho

pure: alexander is w me rn and i can confirm

he is crying into a pillow ok

angelic: alexander reminds me why im a lesbian on the daily

bitch: ur,, kidding right

bitch: tom no fucking anymore im deceased holy moly-

frenchaboo: sure lex thats what u said last month when in the middle of a debate lee asked u why u were limping and then washington ended class early

gayarthoe: dont mention that bitch here 

bitch: im,,, going home,,, and crying into my own pillow bc angelica just came into lizas room and smacked me for no goddamn reason

pure: bye husband

bitch: goodbye wife 

angelic: gross 

frenchaboo: lex do u still want me to come over

bitch: yes

bitch: but forget the condoms at home neevra g a i n

horseporn: not to interrupt but look at laf

_ horseporn has sent 1 image (mybb.jpg) _

bitch: A W PRECIOUS

gayarthoe: all i want is a relationship like that is that too much to ask

bitch: ask and u will receive babe

gayarthoe: love u babe

horseporn: john “steal yo mans” laurens

frenchaboo: not shocked its john

pure: arent u??? driving??

frenchaboo: oh shit oh yeah

bitch: please dont die i need ur dick

mangiaremoncul: please get your dick,, how u say

angelic: amputated?

mangiaremoncul: oh yes! also mon petit lion come down for dinner

bitch: im writing hold on

gayarthoe: go downstairs or die hoe

bitch: i just got home and i gotta finish this

frenchaboo: im here i got this

_ horseporn has sent 1 image (domenergy.jpg) _

angelic: k but either tom is super strong or lex is a feather bc that looks effortless

pure: mix of both 

mangiaremoncul: how tf did u carry him down two sets of stairs what

gayarthoe: im gay for thomas too now

bitch: ur gay for everyone

bitch: also,,,,,,, i hate u tom

mangiaremoncul: sure thats why ur sitting on his lap letting him feed u veggies

pure: how’s wash looking

horseporn: torn,,,,, i think he’s gonna give lex the sex talk bc he asked to speak with him after

angelic: omg my mom’s sex talk with us was so awkward ahshxjsixjsksj like i understand needing to provide a sex positive household so teens feel comfortable with their emotions but like a h a h a

bitch: why am i scared for this

gayarthoe: but does he realize the amount of people alex has fucked

frenchaboo: alex has fucked more people than i think anyone wants to admit im scared for my sexual health

bitch: u won’t have to anymore bc w a s h can hear???

bitch: also bc im mad at u :(

frenchaboo: why is that alexander

bitch: i was w r i t i n g g g 

mangiaremoncul: me having to use headphones tonight to stay sane inevitably:

horseporn: ill keep u distracted babe

bitch: AHHHHH LAF J BLUSHED RLLY HARD THATS SO CUTE TOM WHY dont U TREAT ME LIKE THAT

frenchaboo: bc u suck

gayarthoe: yea my d I CK

bitch: shhhh jacky thats a secret

bitch: also hi im alexander hamilton and im single and looking hmu

angelic: look no further 

pure: id say me but not again sorry husband

bitch: heart been broke so many times

frenchaboo: then whyd u excuse us from dinner to make out in ur bathroom

bitch: i hate u

frenchaboo: u too now lex n i gotta go guys bye

gayarthoe: anyone got someone they can hook me up with

angelic: laurens uve rejected like 3 guys in the past week

gayarthoe: lies 

horseporn: wash looks so done- also john hmu

mangiaremoncul: yea hmu john

gayarthoe: oH ok im deceased

pure: ok new ship

angelica: operation mullafens 

**_angelica has changed the groupchat name to ‘operation mullafens 2k20’_ **

gayarthoe: do yall want me to die

mangiaremoncul: pu john 

horseporn: yea laurens come over

angelic: that was fast

pure: we’ve done it again schuyler sisters

pegme: hEy

pegme: im back whats up

girlinred: heyyyy guys

pure: kk im deceased

frenchaboo: so lex has to go talk to wash quick and mullafens r getting together entertain me

angelic: can’t offer the same entertainment lex did but sure 

girlinred: mullafens?!! excite

pegme: theyre gonna be so cute ;(((

frenchaboo: ik and theyre all so gorgeous supreme couple

gayarthoe: im finally not single

mangiaremoncul: xx bb

horseporn: now i have two adorable bfs to worship :))))

bitch: im back

bitch: AHHH FR QHAT AW MY BFfs I LOVE U ALL SM

bitch: (psst john this doesnt me we gotta stop right)

gayarthoe: (nah lex never bb)

bitch: also- im dead. that was,,,,, horrible im dead inside gn 

frenchaboo: come here u slut im cold

bitch: coming whore

gayarthoe: aw theyre so cute

horseporn: ik honestly sm love

mangiaremoncul: john r u stayin the night? herc is

gayarthoe: sure

gayarthoe: hey why dont we talk out loud?

pegme: shhhh laurens go to bed

angelic: yall wanna watch mean girls in my room?

pure: omw 

girlinred: peggy n i are coming now

_ 11:46 P.M. _

gayarthoe: holy shit u guys werent kidding thomas gag him

frenchaboo: on it ;)

mangiaremoncul: DECEA S E D


End file.
